Monday, April 28, 2014

Laundry Keys & Diapers

The sun was just starting to shine through our curtains at 8 AM the other morning, but I had been awake since 6. Wide awake and unable to fall back asleep. I lay there for another half hour, until little Annie woke for the day. Needless to say, the day started out with me being frustrated and very focused on myself.

Fast forward a few hours. It was laundry day, and I was searching for the laundry keys so I could go down to the laundry room to change the loads over to the dryer. After a few minutes of searching, it suddenly dawned on me that I had laid the keys on top of the washing machine as I was loading our laundry. I had forgotten to pick them up again, so they were locked in there. And I was locked out.

Dinner time was quickly approaching, and I didn't have anything prepared. I had been preparing breakfasts and lunch food for the week, and hadn't gotten to cooking dinner yet. We had a gift card we'd received recently, so I decided to call in an order and bring back food for dinner.

Annie was beginning to fuss, but I knew that, if I was quick, I could get to Panera and back before she needed to go down for her last evening nap. So, off we went.

I hurriedly parked, searched through my backpack for my wallet, and realized I had forgotten the gift card. I could picture it hanging on our cork board at home. I was tempted to be discouraged once more, but reminded myself it wasn't the end of the world. It was okay to pay for dinner out this one time. I unbuckled Annie and hoisted her up onto my hip, very quickly realizing that her diaper was leaking all down her leg and was now all over my t-shirt and all over my hand.

At this point, I just wanted to cry. But I knew I needed to get little lady changed and cleaned up, so I headed into Panera, carefully using my clean hand to open all the doors. Once we were in the bathroom, I grabbed a handful of paper towels and gently cleaned off Annie's legs. After this preliminary cleaning process was finished, I reached into my backpack for a diaper... which, of course, I had forgotten to restock. So, there I was in the changing room of Panera, baby poop all over my clothes, no gift card, no diapers, laundry locked in the laundry room back at our apartment, and a diaper-less baby sweetly staring back at me.

I couldn't do anything else but make a make-shift diaper out of toilet paper and pull over it a pair of her little pants I thankfully did have packed. Poor little girl didn't know any difference. Her smile was bright as ever.

Now, makeshift diapers do not last long. This I knew, so I very quickly cleaned myself up a bit and hurried out to the line at the counter. Then, as if there was one more thing that could go "wrong" in my day, the cashier at the register was being trained. I could see our bag of pre-ordered food sitting neatly packaged on the counter, but I had to stand in line for about twenty minutes, praying Annie didn't pee on me, until I was able to pay for it. Thankfully, she didn't. We got our food and headed for home. She did pee on the way home, and I walked in the door to Matt, crying, holding a very wet little baby, explaining that I had forgotten the gift card and telling him the story of the diaper.

Then, in the middle of the crying and the explaining, I looked up at him, thought about the situation, and we both started laughing. It was kind of funny, all of those things happening one thing on top of another. Because...

I am ALWAYS prepared. I try to think ahead- days ahead. Weeks ahead. Sometimes even months ahead! Matt's breakfasts are always ready, lunches always packed, I prepare the coffee at night so all we have to do is press a button to start it in the morning, I pack extra clothes in the diaper bag in case of any accidents, I pack extra water bottles, I always have extra diapers because you always need diapers, I have sticky notes to remind me of everything and anything. I am the prepared, think-ahead, get-everything-done mom and wife.

That's what I thought.

But then, God reminded me that, yes, I do lock the laundry keys in the laundry room because my mind is focused on a million different things. And I do have nights where I haven't cooked dinner and we eat fast food. And I do forget gift cards. And I am not always prepared. Goodness, I forgot one of the most essential, important, vital necessities when you have a baby- diapers! I am not perfect.

In my pride and self-sufficiency, I want to be perfect. I try to be perfect. I get very disappointed when I see that I am not perfect.

Yet, a friend once encouraged me when I was sharing my struggles with feeling like I have to be the perfect mom... She said, "Annie doesn't need a perfect mommy. She needs a mommy who desperately needs Jesus." I have thought about that many times since. And I obviously needed another reminder about this yesterday.

God doesn't want me to be perfect. He wants me to see the truth- that I am not and never can be "perfect," and to come to Him, to run to Him, because He IS

So, on the days when I forget the laundry keys and diapers, I can be reminded of this truth. And I can be thankful that I have a perfect, awesome, amazing God.

(And a pretty great husband too, who can open laundry room doors with a credit card ;)

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